1 Noh mask

1.5 gallons rooibos tea

7 specimens dried coral

1 pair caribou antlers

60 oz red rope licorice

60 oz assorted twigs

3 weeks newspaper

1 porcelain urn (no ashes)

To begin, mold the newspaper into the outline of a human body, using adhesives as necessary to sculpt a concrete form. The interior should be left hollow, with space to insert material into the chest and cranial cavities. Once a firm foundation has been laid, the coral specimens should be placed throughout to approximate the positions of major organs: the heart, lungs, liver, stomach, pancreas, and intestines should all be represented. Next, licorice and twigs should be stuffed throughout to approximate the skeleton and major arteries. This part of the process does not need to be exact, but should span the limbs in addition to the body's core. After these ingredients have been thoroughly distributed throughout, the caribou antlers should be placed across the torso as ribs, and the urn should crown the neck, becoming its skull. An additional layer of newspaper and adhesive should then be used to seal the form shut, leaving a single hole in the back of the neck into which to pour tea until no empty space is left inside. Finally, the Noh mask should be placed over the mannequin’s head, completing the illusion of humanity.

The resultant artifact should be buried in a fresh patch of soil for one lunar month, during which time the worms should be allowed to do their worst. Once unearthed after this length of time has elapsed, the result is an authentic human corpse, replete with bones, skin, and all other anatomical systems in varying degrees of putrefaction.

Though this cadaver has never spent a single day alive, it is undeniably human and dead. Whether or not its creator has committed murder by bringing it into this world it is a question only their conscience can answer.

Scarecrows are brought to life by the same forces that cause death before life.

Crash-test dummies are damned to a similar fate.

Even false corpses will rise when cosmic spring arrives.