Most who throw rainbow filets onto a skillet for the first time are surprised to discover how much they sizzle. They are not lean, and store numerous tender hues in their belly in addition to those outwardly displayed. It is not advisable to gaze directly into the pan while cooking is ongoing, as many of these colors are too volatile for the human eye to process, and may cause damage to the optical nerve.

Some are disappointed to discover that there is no sweetness to the meat. The basic flavor is often described as a “savory citrus,” as sour as it is sanguine. The real draw for rainbow connoisseurs, however, is in experimenting with color combinations after dissection. The most popular technique is performing careful slices along the borders of the seven major wavelengths, then selecting the relevant bands for each recipe. These individual cuts are often dissimilar from their chromatic cognates in nature: indigo slices are typically the most acerbic, whereas green are by far the closest in essence to blood.

Many meteorologists have spoken out against the consumption of rainbow flesh. It is believed that there are only a few hundred in the wild at any given time, and that their reproductive process requires several centuries of sunlight collection to complete. Even so, it remains popular in many high-brow establishments, and is commonly served with a glass of pitch black mead.