THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB

In the lands east of the Ural Mountains, there is said to have once grown a plant whose fruit was a fully-grown lamb fastened to the soil by its umbilical stem. To some, this beast was known as the borometz, and to others, as the Yeduah. It survived by grazing on the grasses surrounding its roots, though it could never wander beyond its own tether to the earth below. Any separation from this stem would result in its immediate death.

It is no wonder that this creature is no longer seen in the wild. Even before the rise of hominids, the borometz's inability to move freely would have made it an easy target for wolves and tigers alike. For its kind to have survived for any historical length of time in the face of natural selection, they must have existed in flocks large enough to reproduce faster than the hunger of their predators. Given that each lamb would have only had a small space in which to graze, however, it is likely that such flocks would have had no choice but to feed upon each other’s wool.

Though these docile zoophytes are now believed to be a myth by most of today’s world, the monks of the Order of St. Bruno have been cultivating them in secret for centuries. A handful are planted throughout the Jura Mountains of France each year, hidden in plain sight among flocks led by shepherds sworn to silence about their presence.

The monks who distribute them do not do so as an act of conservation, however, for once each lamb has fully ripened, it is subsequently drained of its emerald blood with a bladed spile. This humor is renowned for its complex flavor: as cool as mint, yet as savory as truffle. The order uses it as the base for a potent elixir, one which is said to provide those who drink it with long life. The blood is distilled alongside a blend of well over one-hundred other plants which are included not only for their medicinal value, but also to conceal the presence of this secret ingredient.

The formula for this elixir is known only to these monks, who have vowed to never share it with the outside world, though the product that results of their work is famous. The concoction is bottled and sold worldwide, and shares a name with their own monastery: "Chartreuse."


The borometz is one of the stranger things to emerge from the Urpflanze.

There are, in fact, other varieties of fruit with bones.

That lambs can grow from seeds is unsurprising to those who dig graves.


EXPANDING SYMMETRY

JOHN DOE FROM SCRATCH