1. An astronaut should be able to subsist for one lunar cycle on nothing but canned sunlight. Only the purest variety will prove their readiness: it should be distilled by the solar panels of low-orbit satellites, then carried back to Earth in the talons of doves.
2. An astronaut should be lowered into a pool of raven’s feathers, then meditate in stillness for three days and three nights. During this ordeal, gravity will tempt them to sink to the bottom, but they must be able to resist through force of will.
3. An astronaut must be baptized in waters drawn from the Aquarian amphora.
4. An astronaut must be able recite the seventy-two names of each of the inner planets from memory. Should any of these be mispronounced, they must pray to the offended world for forgiveness, then begin again.
5. An astronaut should be subjected to the wrath of the zodiac. Those born while the sun is in the house of Scorpio must endure an arachnid’s venom, and those beneath Sagittarius must survive a huntsman's arrow. May the gods be with any astronaut born during the month of Leo.
6. An astronaut must be able to coax oxygen from stone. This can only be done by wringing it from solid rock with their bare hands.
7. An astronaut must be capable of making their voice heard in a chamber devoid of air.
8. An astronaut should fashion for themselves a tombstone. Should they perish on their journey, this anchor will prevent their ghost from being swallowed by the gravity of a distant star.
9. Under no circumstances should an astronaut fall in love, for love may be gravity in disguise.